Father's Love

Satu-satunya jenjang pendidikan yang dikenal tidak punya ujian adalah Taman Kanak-kanak. Tadinya aku juga berpikir begitu. Tapi sekarang, sebagai guru TK yang harus ngebut dengan dateline report card, aku sibuk menguji anak-anak satu per satu demi pengisian report card yang akurat. Kalau minggu-minggu sebelumnya aku bikin lesson plans, maka untuk dua minggu ini aku bikin assessment plans. Selama 2 hari ini menguji kemampuan anak-anak, aku mendapati bahwa mereka tampaknya happy-happy aja, bahkan teriak-teriak kesenengan waktu dikasih worksheet yang aku pake buat menilai perkembangan belajar mereka. Ya iyalah, gimana nggak happy-happy aja, lah mereka nggak tahu kalau lagi diuji. Bisa nggak bisa ya dikerjain aja dengan senang hati. Kalau ditanya-tanya secara individual ya jawab-jawab aja sebisanya dengan hati ringan, tidak ada perasaan takut kalau tidak bisa menjawab. Kalau disuruh nyanyi ya nyanyi aja, peduli amat fals atau sumbang. Mereka merasa aman-aman saja, sementara gurunya deg-...

Here is my list of what I am thankful for, especially for this past year (December 2012-November 2013). So, I am thankful for.... Although finance has been my life issue, I know that I do not need to worry anymore about tomorrow for I know whom I have believed is faithful in providing my needs according to His richness in Christ Jesus. I become a greater sinner this year but God has His own purpose in my life, through my life, for the glory of Christ. Jesus Christ came to earth so that a sinner like me could be restored in a relationship with God of the universe. The reconciliation He brought has opened many chances for us to worship the King of kings. The Lord teaches me to start well, be faithful during the progress, and finishing well. Although there are hardships for me in this year, the Lord asks me to enjoy life and see good days. And I am thankful for a grateful heart to enjoy my life and see good days in the midst of sorrow. Being free from a bondage of sin in an unhea...

Papa, Cece bersyukur Pa, ada 22,5 tahun bisa mengenal Papa. Lebih dari dua puluh tahun merasakan kasih seorang Papa adalah berkat dari Tuhan.  Seharusnya tadi pagi Cece telepon dan bilang, "Happy Birthday, Papa! Cece sayang Papa! Panjang umur ya. Tuhan berkati." Tapi itu tidak terjadi.  Seharusnya hari ini Papa merayakan ultah Papa yang ke-59 dengan suatu ucapan syukur, tapi itu tidak terjadi. Sekarang sudah hampir 7 bulan berlalu tanpa Papa. Hidup tidak pernah sama lagi tanpa Papa. Tahun lalu, saat Cece kangen Papa, kita bisa teleponan, ngomong-ngomong via skype..... Lalu di bulan Desember, Cece melihat Papa menjemput di bandara Juanda.... Tapi tahun ini berbeda. Suka tidak suka, hari-hari tanpa Papa menjadi bulan-bulan tanpa Papa.... Bulan-bulan tanpa Papa akan menjadi tahun-tahun tanpa Papa....

Sebelum terima gaji pertama, Mama berkali-kali memberikan nasihat untuk mengatur keuanganku. Pertama sih pastinya selalu dahulukan perpuluhan . Bagaimanapun juga Tuhan harus menjadi yang utama dan pertama dalam pengelolaan keuangan kita. Yang kedua, Mama juga sangat mendorongku untuk ikut asuransi. Baru sebulan ikut asuransi, aku sudah menuai manfaatnya. Sebulan lalu, tepatnya 7-12 Oktober 2013, aku harus dirawat inap di rumah sakit karena tipes dan infeksi saluran pernapasan atas. Selama itu aku nggak perlu kuatir akan biaya rawat inapnya karena semua sudah ditanggung asuransi. Kalau dalam waktu 30 hari setelah keluar dari rumah sakit aku masih perlu kontrol ke dokter dan beli obat, itu juga ditanggung asuransi. Malah ada manfaat lebih karena ada unit asuransi yang menguntungkan. Jadi untuk setiap satu hari di RS tuh aku bisa klaim sejumlah uang. Kalau kata koko sepupuku yang juga agen asuransi sih, aku tuh cuan (untung) banyak. Hehe... Setelah merasakan manfaatnya, aku jadi m...

Fiuuuuhhh. I just finished to print my first written narrative report. On Thursday and Friday, I am going to have my first Parent-Teacher-Conference. Somehow, I just amazed at how could God turned me from a student to a teacher. Hello, for many many many years I had been a student, I never imagined that one day like today would happened. Here I am, sitting on my chair, just realized that less than 50 hours ahead I will meet the parents of my students. O-M-G. Who am I? A teacher??? Seriously. How could I become a teacher?

Note: I wrote this post to other single ladies who struggle to keep their heart focus on their Heavenly Husband while they are waiting for the ones God has prepared. One thing that I struggle so much as I become an adult is relationship with man. I know for sure that now is not the right time for me to get into a courtship. It does not mean I have not experience it before. I have experienced and failed. I don't want to experience it again. Instead, I wan to focus my heart and mind to Jesus Christ. I must let Christ be my everything, my center of life first. I have to set the boundaries so that I might not involve in any love-relationship until God Himself brings me to my Adam. But, to guard my heart is quite hard.

As a fresh graduate teacher, now is the first experience for me to write the narrative report. Although I often write "narrative report" about my life in this blog, it's different when I have to write about my students. The school has the template and its way to write. As the teacher, I cannot just write it freely. Instead, I have to write each report carefully. As I do it, somehow I ask, why does a teacher should write narrative report? Oh, how I wish there is no narrative report to write! (*lazy teacher!) Well, what is narrative report? Simply, it is a report about students' development that written by using narrative writing. Why is it should be narrative? Because a narrative report will give a clear description of students' development. Therefore, the readers (parents) can respond by taking a right step for their children's education. Anyway, do you know that God also wrote narrative report?

Tidak terasa sudah sekitar dua bulan aku jadi guru. Secara resminya sih kalau dihitung dari jumlah hari aktif, baru sekitar sebulanan (kan kepotong banyak libur sama weekend) . Aku mulai terbiasa, tapi tetep aja masih bingung dan meraba-raba. Setiap hari bukan cuma pembelajaran buat anak-anak, tapi juga buat gurunya. Namun aku bersyukur Tuhan itu setia dan Dia memberikan hikmat yang aku butuhkan.

I just wrote my students' development for this past month and learned some good things from them. I think it is just true when Jesus told us to become like little children. Little children always trusting their teachers and parents. Never once they doubt their teachers and parents. Little children always loving others. Sometimes they don't like someone, but usually they love everyone. They don't hate someone for more than a day or even an hour. Little children always forgiving others. Easily they forget others' mistake.

Tulisan ini sudah dimuat di Majalah Cahya Buana – Majalah Gereja Kristus Tuhan Jemaat III Malang, edisi 115/ Juni 2013, hal.22-23.  Penulisnya adalah teman sekolah minggu saya dulu, Yuniar Dwi Setiawati.   Tuhan memanggilnya untuk melayani Dia sepenuh waktu. Oleh karena itu, sekarang Yuniar belajar teologi di STT Aletheia Lawang dan sedang dalam pengerjaan skripsi. Menemukan panggilan khususnya di bidang Christian Literature,  dia banyak menulis berbagai artikel untuk renungan-renungan Kristen. Yuniar pernah menulis untuk Renungan Harian, Spirit, dan sekarang aktif menulis untuk Lentera Jiwa. Karya-karyanya sudah banyak dimuat di berbagai media cetak, baik yang Kristen maupun non-Kristen. Kunjungi blognya untuk membaca lebih banyak tulisan karya Yuniar:  http://yunindralilani.blogspot.com

It has been four months becoming a fatherless. Somehow it just hard to accept this reality. If you read my previous posts about this lost, you might think of how strong I am. I tell you that I am not. Instead, I still cannot accept this reality. Even I have been asking to God, "Why?" Why should Papa passed away, God? Do you not know that I still need him?  But God does not explain. And it hurts me when I read in the Bible that those who respect and love their parents would live longer on earth. I saw how was my father respected and loved my grandmother. I also heard that my father was the one who faithfully take care of my grandfather before he passed away (at that time, Papa was 18 years old). Papa was so obedient to God's command in honoring his parents. But he did not live long. He passed away a month before I graduated.

This article is written by Jerry, God's servant, who works as a stock trader in Jakarta. He works to see and testify how God is working through Indonesian's economic today. Jerry and his wife, Trisya, actively serve God in their community church. As they faithfully serve Him locally, God calls them for a global ministry: to share God's work and God's desires in their life. Their blog has been a blessing for a lot of single adults and married couples in Indonesia as it concerns on Jesus, Family, Financial, and Character. Visit their blog  to get more blessings, encouragements, and even convictions:  http://www.jerrytrisya.com/

In the beginning of this year, I was a student. I was in my senior year in university, enjoying every single moment of my youth with friends. As I graduate from university, I am no longer a student. My life has been going to the next level. Now I am a single adult. I have to work. Life changes.

Seharusnya saat ini aku sedang duduk di dalam kelas, mengikuti training guru-guru baru. Namun karena terinfeksi virus, aku harus beristirahat total, setidaknya selama 3 hari. Dokter melarangku bepergian ke mana-mana karena bisa menular.

Sekitar 12-17 tahun yang lalu, setiap tahun pada hari ayah, aku akan menyanyikan sebuah lagu pada kebaktian umum. Sementara aku menyanyi solo, teman-teman sekolah minggu yang lain akan berjalan ke arah bangku-bangku jemaat sambil membagikan sebuah souvenir untuk para ayah. Setiap kali aku akan menyanyikan sebuah lagu berjudul "PAPA". Tidak diketahui siapa pencipta lagu ini. Yang pasti nadanya sangat oriental. Syairnya sebagai berikut: Tak pernah ku lupa Kasihmu padaku Papa Dalam kelelahan bekerja Kau tetap bri senyum padaku Jerih payahmu Papa Semua hanya untukku Oh, terima kasih Papa

Kalo diinget-inget lagi saat-saat pertama ketika Papa meninggal, ada banyak hal-hal kecil yang luar biasa Tuhan kerjakan. Terbukti Tuhan kita itu setia, tidak ada perkara yang terlalu kecil untuk Dia.

I'm sorry for your lost... Air mataku tidak bisa tidak mengalir saat menyadari betapa Tuhan juga turut merasakan dukaku kehilangan seorang Papa. Aku bersyukur Alkitab mencatat bahwa Yesus menangis dengan sedihnya saat Lazarus meninggal dunia. Jadi kita bisa yakin dan percaya bahwa Tuhan sungguh-sungguh merasakan duka yang kita rasakan.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013. I supposed to be excited because on May 31, 2013 I would be commissioned as a Christian teacher. My family and relatives would come, but someone is missing. My dad would not be able to see me graduated and commissioned. Family photo would be weird because he already passed away. So what is the meaning of my graduation?

Few years ago, my dad preached a short sermon in a family cell. I found the note of his sermon in his bible. It was about "free from worry". Worry had been his struggle of life since my father was an introvert, melancholic person. The doctor said, one factor that dropped his health was depression, stress because of many things he worried about. Therefore, a virus could easily attacked his body and made him palsied, that we thought as stroke. As I remember him and read his note, my heart is full with joy, knowing that in my father's weakness, God's power shown perfectly. All things that he worried before he passed away, God provided perfectly as he went to the Lord. My mom told me that since 2009, as we have been struggle with finance after the company bankrupt (which my dad was an employee there), my dad had been growing in his faith to the Lord. Of course, there were a lot of times when he worried about our future, but he learned to put his hope in the Lord. Durin...

Death often comes without any warning. I experienced it on Sunday night, April 28, 2013. Suddenly, I became fatherless. Suddenly I lost my father. There was no goodbye.

Di postingan sebelumnya, aku sempat cerita bahwa salah satu dosen pengujiku itu didatangkan langsung dari Corban University. Nah, saat aku harus melangsungkan sidang skripsi yang kedua pada hari Kamis, 25 April 2013, dosen yang bersangkutan sudah kembali ke negaranya. Jadi supaya sidang bisa tetap berjalan, maka digunakanlah teknologi yang namanya internet. Awalnya aku diberi tahu bahwa sidang akan dilakukan menggunakan Skype. Unik ya?

Beberapa hari sebelum sidang, ada dua hal yang membuatku mengganggu, bahkan benar-benar bikin galau. My family's struggle: finance Sejak tahun 2009, karena kebangkrutan di perusahaan tempat Papa kerja, keluarga kami jadi extra bergumul di area finansial. Namun hampir 4 tahun ini bisa dibilang penyertaan Tuhan itu sempurna, segala sesuatu yang kami butuhkan selalu Tuhan sediakan. Bahkan tahun lalu aku bisa jalan-jalan ke Singapore juga karena Tuhan yang sediakan dananya. Kalau bukan karena Tuhan, tidak mungkin aku bisa punya uang lebih untuk jalan-jalan ke luar negri.

Sejak status kelulusanku di-pending, ada banyak dukungan yang aku terima. Di hari yang sama aku terima beberapa SMS, trus 4 orang teman juga datang ke kamar untuk mendengarkanku dan mengobrol. Hari itu aku juga kasih kabar ke ortu dan dengan tenangnya Mama bilang kalau skripsi yang bagus tuh memang harus diuji lagi. Biasa lah dosen penguji memang suka 'menguji'. Lah? Jadi bingung dengernya. Hehehee... Tapi bener-bener saat itu rasanya terhibur, punya ortu yang tidak marah-marah di atas kegagalanku. Sore itu temen-temen sekamar ngajakin ke hypermart. Cukup terhibur sih, karena sekalipun aku nggak belanja, tapi bisa melihat banyak bahan makanan dan mikir kira-kira mau beli apa atau masak apa kalau ntar dapet giliran provide refreshment lagi di gereja maupun LIFE Group.

Ketika hari-hari menjelang sidang semakin dekat, Tuhan mengingatkan aku sebuah ayat dari Filipi 4:7. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Bisa keinget lagu ini gara-gara inget satu lagu yang beberapa kali dinyanyikan di gereja. Ini lagunya:

Sebenernya sehari sebelum due date pengumpulan skripsi, jadwal sidang sudah keluar. Namun aku tidak merasa takut mengetahui siapa yang menjadi dosen pengujiku, karena chairman-nya tuh dosen bule yang baik banget. He is very gracious. Masih jelas dalam ingatanku awal semester 3 ketika aku minta pindah ke program bahasa Inggris dengan kemampuan pas-pasan. Beliau ngasih dengan syarat aku harus bener-bener belajar dan berusaha untuk improve my English proficiency. Thanks to him, aku tidak hanya pindah program, tapi juga boleh dapet kesempatan untuk belajar. Setelah 3 tahun, ada banyak kemajuan. Dari yang tadinya nggak ngerti apa-apa kalo dosen ngajar dalam bahasa Inggris, sampe sekarang tiap Minggu dengerin sermon in English (secara pastorku juga diimpor from Chicago… hehe….). Dari yang cuma bisa “yes/no” aja sekarang bisa cas cis cus in English meskipun masih banyak grammatical error (tapi bule-bule pada bilang lumayan kok, understandable lah… hehe…), trus masih sering ngomong inggrisan ...

Dua tahun yang lalu, pada suatu hari Minggu pagi, aku melihat teman sekamarku berdandan dengan sangat rapi dan anggun. Nggak tahu kenapa, di mataku dia kelihatan seperti "Ibu Gembala" atau istri pendeta. Pokoknya kelihatan terhormat, cantik, anggun, rapi, enak dipandang. Hehe... Sejak saat itu, aku suka memanggilnya dengan sebutan "Ibu Gembala" sampai sekarang. Dia nggak mau kalah dong... Tiap kali kusapa, dia akan membalas, "Ya, Ibu Gembala Senior." Setelah itu kami tertawa bersama.

Kata Pengkhotbah, untuk segala sesuatu ada waktunya. Bagi mahasiswa tingkat akhir, ada waktunya untuk mengerjakan skripsi, ada waktunya untuk mengumpulkan skripsi. Selama seminggu terakhir sebelum skripsi dikumpulkan, I scanned and compiled the appendices that needed to be attached. Terus terang selama menyusun lampiran, aku cukup deg-degan mendapati bahwa rasa takut yang kumiliki sejak awal pengerjaan PTK kembali lagi. Aku merasa data-dataku tidak cukup bagus, apalagi berkualitas. Selain itu, dosen pembimbing juga terus-menerus merevisi skripsiku. Saat itu rasanya kayak doing endless revision until the day before due date.

We were studying Acts 2 last night when our LIFE Group leader showed us this video about how the gospel being shared to the Mouk Tribe of Papua New Guinea. See the ending and capture a picture of what Jerusalem might have look like on Pentecost day, when 3000 people accepted Christ.

My tears dropped as I read this article . Somehow I remember Romans 8:38-39 that God had put it into my heart for these past two years. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from the love of God. And there is no condemnation for those believe in Christ.

Putera-Nya sendiri Ia korbankan untuk kita. Apa lagi yang kurang? Kasih karunia-Nya cukup bagi setiap orang berdosa yang percaya kepada-Nya. Bapa di surga memberi dengan segala kelimpahan. Bukan kelimpahan yang kita, orang berdosa, bayangkan; melainkan kelimpahan yang pada akhirnya memuliakan Kristus.

Here is the last part of the Foundations Class. Hope you'll be blessed. To read it clearly, give a right-click on the picture, select "Open Link in New Tab". In new tab, you can zoom in the picture.

Di postingan sebelumnya , aku sempat cerita bahwa pergumulanku selama pengerjaan skripsi ini justru diawali dengan hilangnya fokusku kepada Tuhan. Parahnya, aku bahkan tidak menyadari bahwa fokusku kepada Tuhan sudah lama hilang. Butuh waktu sekitar 4 bulan sebelum benar-benar menyadarinya. Cukup unik, Tuhan menggunakan kondisi laptopku untuk menegur dan mengembalikan fokusku kembali kepada-Nya . Setelah aku rekonsiliasi dengan Tuhan dan laptopku balik normal, aku mulai berdoa meminta supaya Tuhan singkirkan satu per satu setiap hal yang membuatku tidak fokus lagi kepada Tuhan.

My friends and I (TC Students) have mandatory chapels every Tuesday morning, Friday night, and Sunday morning. Last year, we (TC Students who become Church-members of HMCC) asked Ps. Andrew to write a letter of permission for us to miss the Friday Night Fellowship so that we could join the Good Friday Service at our church. This year, we tried to do the same, but the leader of dormitory and the rule were changed. As the result, we are not allowed to miss the Friday Night Fellowship so that we can join the Good Friday Service at church. All TC Students in our church are sad about it, including me. As we are committed to our home church, it is our desire to attend the Good Friday Service.

I joined Foundations Class during last month. I posted the first part about the Gospel here . This is the second part about the fundamental. Hope you’ll be blessed!

Setiap mahasiswa/i tingkat akhir pasti bergumul dengan skripsi. Sejak Juli 2012 lalu, skripsi menjadi salah satu beban pikiran yang utama. Selama internship 4 bulan di Batam, aku harus melakukan Penelitian Tindakan Kelas (PTK)/Classroom Action Research (CAR) yang menjadi bahan penulisan skripsi. Bersyukur, skripsiku sudah terkumpul hari Jumat (22/3) lalu! Masih ada sidang tanggal 4 April 2013 nanti, tapi aku bersyukur satu langkah sudah dilalui! Yeeeey!!! Ada banyak pergumulan, doa, bahkan air mata, namun yang pasti selalu ada Tuhan yang setia dibalik pengerjaan skripsi ini. Jadi selama beberapa minggu ke depan, aku mau coba tuliskan pergumulan-pergumulanku bersama dengan Tuhan. Kebenaran yang sesungguhnya adalah bahwa Tuhan yang telah dan terus bersamaku. Dia tetap setia, bahkan ketika aku tidak setia.

When I was meditated on Isaiah 57, I found that in verse 15, the Lord said that He lives in a high and holy place but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. Every time I read this verse, I always feel amazed. How could The Most High God wants to be with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit? Why does he want to revive the spirit of the lowly and the heart of the contrite? Does not he know that we are nothing? This is really beyond my understanding!

I joined Foundations Class during this past month. Here are some notes that I put here so that I will always remember it and be able to read it anywhere, anytime. Hope you’ll be blessed!

In my time alone with God this morning, I meditated on Isaiah 51-55. Here are some highlights that the Holy Spirit emphasized for me. 1.      LISTEN to the LORD. Give your ears and LISTEN. --> this is the calling that I need! 2.     The Lord comforts you, don’t forget your Maker . God wants me to always remember Him. 3.     Jesus was pierced for our transgressions and he was crushed for our iniquities. Our punishment was upon Him, and by His wounds, we are healed. 4.     We are like sheep, have gone astray, have turned to our own way, and the LORD has laid on Jesus the iniquity of us all. 5.     It was the LORD’s will to crush Jesus and cause him to suffer. He bore the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors. 6.     Novi, do not be afraid ; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace ; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your yo...

"Ce, yapa seh nglupano mantan pacar? " (yang nanya orang Surabaya) . "Ci, gimana sih nglupain mantan pacar?" "Gimana sih kak caranya nglupain mantan?" Yah, intinya sih belakangan aku jadi sering ditanya bagaimana caranya melupakan mantan pacar. Jadi supaya tidak berbusa karena berkali-kali menjawab, sebaiknya ditulis aja di sini :) Ini sih berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi, bukan kebenaran mutlak, tapi aku jamin bisa membantu karena sudah dipraktikkan. Bukan berarti aku sukses sempurna lo ya. Sebaliknya aku pun jatuh dan gagal berkali-kali dalam hal melupakan mantan pacar ini. Tapi toh akhirnya bisa juga dengan kasih karunia Tuhan dan ketaatan! So, let's check it out!

As for me, it was hard to wake up around 7 AM on this morning. I slept late because I had to submit my SKRIPSI on the afternoon yet it had not finished. I did not feel well yet I did not sick. There’s should be an Asian History class in the morning. We already planned to watch Mahatma Gandhi but I felt so weak physically and my spirit just broken. I did not go. Instead, I kept lying on my bed with a head worrying about SKRIPSI and did not know what to do. At 9 AM, Silvi came to my room with pancakes for me. It was surprised me because she supposed to watch Mahatma Gandhi. She said that her SKRIPSI-supervisor asked her to submit her SKRIPSI on Wednesday (3/13/13), therefore she asked permission to not watch because she needed more time to work on her SKRIPSI. She reported to our lecturer that I was sick and would watch the Mahatma Gandhi with her later (after Wednesday). I felt blessed as she came to my room. It was not about the pancakes yet I loved it, but her gentle care tow...