In the beginning of this year, I was a student. I was in my senior year in university, enjoying every single moment of my youth with friends. As I graduate from university, I am no longer a student. My life has been going to the next level. Now I am a single adult. I have to work. Life changes.
In experiencing this life transition [from a student to a worker], I found myself have more thoughts to think about. Daily, I think about what to cook and eat [there is no available food on the table unless I cook!], what to do at work [in my term as a teacher: what to teach, how should I deal with the students and my own class], how to work with people [school leaders, co-workers, my students, parents of the students; there are no lecturers and classmates anymore!], how to manage my own salary wisely, how to manage my own schedule, etc. Somehow, I feel that maturity is expected to be shown more in every aspect of my life.
Few months ago, I did not think about what to cook and eat since I could get my meal available three times a day without paying anything. Now I have to spend my own salary to buy some foods at the market. Then I have to cook by myself everyday. I must make more effort to eat.
Last year I was a student teacher. My jobs were making some lesson plans, discussing lesson plans and the students with mentor, then teaching under guidance of my mentor, reflecting on each session of lesson, conducting a classroom action research, and learning to build relationship with elementary students. This year I am a teacher. My responsibilities are getting bigger. Now I conduct my own class and my own students, work hard in school's curriculum (not only lesson plans, but also unit plans and yearly plan!), teach as a homeroom teacher for K3 students (the smaller the level, the bigger the challenge!), build relationship with students as well as with parents, work cooperatively with school leaders (such as principal and CC/TT) and other teachers, and so on.
For me personally, there is one more responsibility: to provide my family's need. Now as Papa is no longer lives on earth, Mama still can't work (also, she's getting older), and my brother is still an university student; I become the source of our family's income. I don't think I can do it. I don't think that my salary would be enough. It just getting hard for me. I am no longer manage some pocket money, but a salary. It is not only for me, but also my family. How can I bear this responsibility?
Sometimes, I feel lonely. It's like I am alone in bearing bigger responsibilities both at school and in daily life. This life transition is not easy at all, but thanks God that He is always with me.
Last lebaran holiday, I went to Pagar Alam with my church community. Pagar Alam is a city right at the foot of Mt. Dempo, South Sumatra. We took some time to retreat from daily routines and reflecting on the Scriptures. The theme was "Mountain Movers". For me personally, there is not only a mountain in my life, but some mountains. Thanks God, through this retreat He opened my eyes to see Him clearly. He was and is and always exist in my life. Whether it is sorrow or joy, Lord Jesus Christ never leaves nor abundant me. He is Emmanuel, God is with us. Therefore, there is always a hope in Christ Jesus. What I need to do is to have faith.
Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
To go to the top of a mountain is both beautiful and scary. It is beauty because of the scenery. We can see how great is our God. It is scary because some dangerous are waiting there. As I must face "the mountains" in my life, I feel that my fear is greater than the beauty of going through these hardships with the God of the mountains.
I am so thankful that once again God reminds me that mountains are His special creations. God had called some of His servants to the mountain. Moses was called to the top of the mountain alone. Did the Bible record that he was afraid? No! Instead, his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord! What a transformation!
As I go higher to "the mountains" in my life, although they are scary and somehow dangerous, I shall not fear. Because God works for good in everything, even in letting me face the hardships and bear bigger responsibilities. He is the one who calls me to go to the top of every mountain in my life. He wants to see me reach the top of the mountains, see Him privately in an intimate way, and look down to the land that He promised to be given. He wants me to reflect His radiance and be transformed as He encounters me. So beautiful!
And once again, I am not alone! God is with me. He also provides some brothers and sisters in Christ that He calls to go to the top of the mountain with me. All supports, prayers, love, hugs, friendships, and fellowships that I need are provided. Together, we can build each other up. We can walk by faith. We can always hope in the midst of impossibilities. We can love one another as Christ has loved us.
Few months ago, I did not think about what to cook and eat since I could get my meal available three times a day without paying anything. Now I have to spend my own salary to buy some foods at the market. Then I have to cook by myself everyday. I must make more effort to eat.
Last year I was a student teacher. My jobs were making some lesson plans, discussing lesson plans and the students with mentor, then teaching under guidance of my mentor, reflecting on each session of lesson, conducting a classroom action research, and learning to build relationship with elementary students. This year I am a teacher. My responsibilities are getting bigger. Now I conduct my own class and my own students, work hard in school's curriculum (not only lesson plans, but also unit plans and yearly plan!), teach as a homeroom teacher for K3 students (the smaller the level, the bigger the challenge!), build relationship with students as well as with parents, work cooperatively with school leaders (such as principal and CC/TT) and other teachers, and so on.
For me personally, there is one more responsibility: to provide my family's need. Now as Papa is no longer lives on earth, Mama still can't work (also, she's getting older), and my brother is still an university student; I become the source of our family's income. I don't think I can do it. I don't think that my salary would be enough. It just getting hard for me. I am no longer manage some pocket money, but a salary. It is not only for me, but also my family. How can I bear this responsibility?
Sometimes, I feel lonely. It's like I am alone in bearing bigger responsibilities both at school and in daily life. This life transition is not easy at all, but thanks God that He is always with me.
Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
To go to the top of a mountain is both beautiful and scary. It is beauty because of the scenery. We can see how great is our God. It is scary because some dangerous are waiting there. As I must face "the mountains" in my life, I feel that my fear is greater than the beauty of going through these hardships with the God of the mountains.
I am so thankful that once again God reminds me that mountains are His special creations. God had called some of His servants to the mountain. Moses was called to the top of the mountain alone. Did the Bible record that he was afraid? No! Instead, his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord! What a transformation!
And once again, I am not alone! God is with me. He also provides some brothers and sisters in Christ that He calls to go to the top of the mountain with me. All supports, prayers, love, hugs, friendships, and fellowships that I need are provided. Together, we can build each other up. We can walk by faith. We can always hope in the midst of impossibilities. We can love one another as Christ has loved us.
Becoming a single adult is not easy, but as I walk by faith, I can see clearly the beauty of Christ in this chapter of my life.
4 comments:
Hi Novi, thank you for writing this and believe me, you are bringing a lot of encouragements with this writing, and there are many, more than anyone can guess, who share the same story.
This writing shows you're already an adult , and though it can be painfully lonely sometimes, trust me, you won't be alone forever, for God says it is not good for man to be alone, He will send you a comforter.
Thank you, Ko Jerry and Ce Trisya :)
It's really a surprise to read your comment! Sometimes I read your website too and feel so blessed!
Thank you for the encouragement too! As I read it, a word crossed in my mind: AMEN!
AMEN JUGA! Oh jangan salah, we're frequent visitor to your blog too, even subscribed it to feedly, Always expecting new post from you. Don't stop writing ya fellow teacher (ex-teacher here, but you know what they say, once a teacher always a teacher).
WOW! Thank u so much :)
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