Father's Love

If my life is a movie or drama, perhaps it should be written "three years later" after the scene of my dad's funeral. However, what happened during these past three years are too meaningful to be skipped. We have been struggling, praying, working, crying, hoping... and The Lord never leaves us on our own. He was, is and will always be with us. About a week ago, our family thanked The Lord that finally my brother has done his thesis. He was able to be accountable for his final project, even now is working on the revision and prepare for an exhibition. He said that not everyone is asked to do the exhibition. It's only for those who have done very well. Somehow he is sure that he might got an A. Well, praise The Lord! :) If things go as planned and The Lord makes everything go smoothly, my brother will have his graduation ceremony this August and soon will get his first job as an IT engineer. As for me, I also never imagined that The Lord wants to entrust me more respo...

Seminggu terakhir benar-benar menggelisahkan. Sebagian besar orang tentu gelisah mendengar berita teror bom di Jakarta. Demikian juga saya. Sekalipun tinggal di Palembang juga turut gelisah dan merasa tidak aman. Apalagi dalam kurun waktu seminggu terakhir ini saya mendengar dua orang rekan guru yang dijambret di dekat sekolah. Bahkan pagi ini saya baca di koran Sumatera Express mengenai kasus pembegalan yang terjadi di Palembang. Satu kata yang saya rasakan: ngeri. Ke mana pun kita pergi, di mana pun kita berada, tidak ada jaminan keamanan yang mutlak 100%. Malah sepertinya di mana-mana bahaya mengancam. Sebagai anak-anak Tuhan, kita pun tidak luput dari kejadian-kejadian seperti yang saya sebutkan di atas. Sudah banyak juga anak-anak Tuhan yang menjadi korban kejahatan. Tentunya kita berharap tidak akan pernah (atau kalau sudah pernah, tidak akan lagi) menjadi korban kejahatan. Namun siapa yang bisa menjamin keamanan kita di tengah-tengah dunia yang berdosa?

Sebagai perempuan muda yang normal, seringkali saya merasa tidak punya baju, sekalipun saya tahu ada banyak orang di luar sana yang bajunya cuma sepotong dua potong. Berulang kali saya kuatir, mau pake baju apa ya? Kok kayaknya koleksi saya kurang fabulous, kurang fashionable. Tapi nggak mungkin juga saya shopping baju tiap bulan. Banyak kebutuhan lain yang jauh lebih penting daripada baju. Sadar tidak sadar, rasanya baju yang saya kenakan menentukan apakah saya tampil cantik atau tidak. Lalu saya menjadi kuatir kalau baju saya biasa-biasa, modelnya bukan yang lagi booming. Kan kelihatannya gimana gitu. Apalagi saya ini guru. Mesti tampil cantik dong di depan ortu murid. Jauh sebelum saya atau perempuan-perempuan lain kuatir akan apa yang akan kita kenakan, Tuhan Yesus sudah ngomong duluan. Dia sudah bahas isu ini.  Matius 6:28-30 (TB)  Dan mengapa kamu kuatir akan pakaian ? Perhatikanlah bunga bakung di ladang , yang tumbuh tanpa bekerja dan tanpa memin...

A fatherless, an ordinary official was chosen as a king over ten tribes of Israel. The LORD God Himself promised to Jeroboam. The Lord would like to build him a dynasty as enduring as the one He built for David and would give Israel to him. Even He would humble David's descendants because of this, but not forever. It was a great honor and grace, what a perfect promised blessing that Jeroboam got from the Lord! "However, as for you, I will take you, and you will rule over all that your heart desires; you will be king over Israel. If you do whatever I command you and walk in my ways and do what is right in my eyes by keeping my statutes and commands, as David my servant did, I will be with you. I will build you a dynasty as enduring as the one I built for David and will give Israel to you. I will humble David's descendants because of this, but not forever." (1 Kings 11:37-39) Although the Lord had fulfilled His promises when Israel made him king over all Israe...

Time keeps going. Two years has passed since I lost my dad and I feel thankful today. I woke up quite early this morning and had more time to pray and lift up praises. These twenty four past months, The Lord has been so faithful. I tried to count on The Lord's blessings, guidance, provisions, and answers along these two years. There were soooooooo much from the Lord that if I could give thanks for each matter, I would be late to work today. Hehehe...

Psalm 130 A song of ascents. 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD; 2 Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. The psalmist cried for mercy. When I read these two verses, I felt a strong conviction that it is very important for us to cry for mercy. Why should we cry for mercy? 3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins , Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. W e all have sinned and we are sinners. Who could stand before the Lord? Who could serve Him? But there is forgiveness! If the LORD forgives us, we can, with reverence, serve Him! We ? Yes. We! The Lord wants us to not be selfish by praying for ourselves. He wants us to pray for others too. Pray and cry for mercy for there is forgiveness with the Lord, so that we (our family, friends, even the whole nation) with reverence, serve the Lord. How long should we pray? How many days? The psalmist wait for the Lord and put his hope in ...

Time flies. My brother and I have been fatherless for 10 months. Today is easier to live as fatherless than few months ago, but the "side effect" of being fatherless is getting harder. We no longer have Papa as our protector and provider. We have to learn to protect ourselves and provide our needs. It's not easy at all. But God has promised to be the Father for the fatherless. And He is faithful!

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty There's nothing my God cannot do for you My God is so big, so strong and so mighty There's nothing my God cannot do for you The mountains are His The valleys are His The stars are His Handiwork too O..o... My God is so big, so strong and so mighty There's nothing my God cannot do for you

Sebelum terima gaji pertama, Mama berkali-kali memberikan nasihat untuk mengatur keuanganku. Pertama sih pastinya selalu dahulukan perpuluhan . Bagaimanapun juga Tuhan harus menjadi yang utama dan pertama dalam pengelolaan keuangan kita. Yang kedua, Mama juga sangat mendorongku untuk ikut asuransi. Baru sebulan ikut asuransi, aku sudah menuai manfaatnya. Sebulan lalu, tepatnya 7-12 Oktober 2013, aku harus dirawat inap di rumah sakit karena tipes dan infeksi saluran pernapasan atas. Selama itu aku nggak perlu kuatir akan biaya rawat inapnya karena semua sudah ditanggung asuransi. Kalau dalam waktu 30 hari setelah keluar dari rumah sakit aku masih perlu kontrol ke dokter dan beli obat, itu juga ditanggung asuransi. Malah ada manfaat lebih karena ada unit asuransi yang menguntungkan. Jadi untuk setiap satu hari di RS tuh aku bisa klaim sejumlah uang. Kalau kata koko sepupuku yang juga agen asuransi sih, aku tuh cuan (untung) banyak. Hehe... Setelah merasakan manfaatnya, aku jadi m...

As a fresh graduate teacher, now is the first experience for me to write the narrative report. Although I often write "narrative report" about my life in this blog, it's different when I have to write about my students. The school has the template and its way to write. As the teacher, I cannot just write it freely. Instead, I have to write each report carefully. As I do it, somehow I ask, why does a teacher should write narrative report? Oh, how I wish there is no narrative report to write! (*lazy teacher!) Well, what is narrative report? Simply, it is a report about students' development that written by using narrative writing. Why is it should be narrative? Because a narrative report will give a clear description of students' development. Therefore, the readers (parents) can respond by taking a right step for their children's education. Anyway, do you know that God also wrote narrative report?

In the beginning of this year, I was a student. I was in my senior year in university, enjoying every single moment of my youth with friends. As I graduate from university, I am no longer a student. My life has been going to the next level. Now I am a single adult. I have to work. Life changes.

I'm sorry for your lost... Air mataku tidak bisa tidak mengalir saat menyadari betapa Tuhan juga turut merasakan dukaku kehilangan seorang Papa. Aku bersyukur Alkitab mencatat bahwa Yesus menangis dengan sedihnya saat Lazarus meninggal dunia. Jadi kita bisa yakin dan percaya bahwa Tuhan sungguh-sungguh merasakan duka yang kita rasakan.

Few years ago, my dad preached a short sermon in a family cell. I found the note of his sermon in his bible. It was about "free from worry". Worry had been his struggle of life since my father was an introvert, melancholic person. The doctor said, one factor that dropped his health was depression, stress because of many things he worried about. Therefore, a virus could easily attacked his body and made him palsied, that we thought as stroke. As I remember him and read his note, my heart is full with joy, knowing that in my father's weakness, God's power shown perfectly. All things that he worried before he passed away, God provided perfectly as he went to the Lord. My mom told me that since 2009, as we have been struggle with finance after the company bankrupt (which my dad was an employee there), my dad had been growing in his faith to the Lord. Of course, there were a lot of times when he worried about our future, but he learned to put his hope in the Lord. Durin...

Death often comes without any warning. I experienced it on Sunday night, April 28, 2013. Suddenly, I became fatherless. Suddenly I lost my father. There was no goodbye.

Beberapa hari sebelum sidang, ada dua hal yang membuatku mengganggu, bahkan benar-benar bikin galau. My family's struggle: finance Sejak tahun 2009, karena kebangkrutan di perusahaan tempat Papa kerja, keluarga kami jadi extra bergumul di area finansial. Namun hampir 4 tahun ini bisa dibilang penyertaan Tuhan itu sempurna, segala sesuatu yang kami butuhkan selalu Tuhan sediakan. Bahkan tahun lalu aku bisa jalan-jalan ke Singapore juga karena Tuhan yang sediakan dananya. Kalau bukan karena Tuhan, tidak mungkin aku bisa punya uang lebih untuk jalan-jalan ke luar negri.

Today is the forth-day of lent and it's going hard for me. It is hard to keep my eyes focus on Jesus. It is getting harder to wake up at 5 AM in the morning to have time alone with God. A lot of things distracting my mind and heart. Now I'm experiencing what it means to be exposed. It's not good, it's painful. It's like someone tears down your clothes and let you be naked in public. And God really exposing my life, my ugliness, and who I am as a sinner.

Chinese New Year celebration is going now! If you cannot celebrate it, maybe this video can help you to know more about God's love towards Chinese people wherever they are! Especially about Chinese history that correlates with Jesus' birth and death.

As I continue to read the book of Psalm, I found these two verses really revealing my heart issue. Psalm 118 8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD    than to trust in humans. 9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD    than to trust in princes. Instead of taking refuge in the LORD, often I put my trust in humans, who cannot be trusted. They can be my family and friends. Instead of taking refuge in the LORD, often I put my trust in princes, who lead. They can be pastors, church-leaders, seniors, bosses, people in the governments, my dad, my brother, my loves one or even husband in the future. I was wondering why did the psalmist use the phrase " take refuge in the LORD " instead of " trust in the LORD "? I think the phrase " take refuge in the LORD " provides a guarantee that we are protected in Him; physically, mentally, spiritually. If we trust in humans and princes, what will be the guarantee that they always protect us? They are sinner...

I read Psalm 108-115 this morning and found three times the phrase "fear of the LORD" connected with the word "blessed". Yesterday I watched a sermon video about God in ancient China . Rev. Kong Hee explained the word "blessed" (福/fu) in Chinese character. To write this word in Chinese character, we should put "shen zi pang" first, it is God.    (神) => ["shen zi pang" is the "lines" without that square, see the left side] Then we write together at one (一/yi) with one mouth (口). So God together with a soul, one mouth, and the word garden below the mouth. So that is prosperity (福). Prosperity to Chinese is not just material wealth and money. But it's for God and man to have a one relationship. It is awesome! If you celebrate Chinese New Year with your family and relatives this weekend, I hope you can share this to them. Tell them that God reveals Himself in Chinese writing.

Chinese New Year is coming soon! By this weekend, some of my friends are going home to celebrate the Chinese New Year with their families. I am not going home, but it does not mean that I don't celebrate it. Chinese New Year cannot be forgotten. Somehow, I am thinking a lot of Chinese people in Indonesia this past few weeks, especially after I met Guo Shu Shu (Uncle Guo), a stranger and an unbeliever that sat next to me during my last journey by plane. We talked a lot during our flight from Surabaya to Jakarta. He really interested to talk with me. He said that he was thinking that I am Chinese-Medan because of the way I walk and move. I said, "No. I am Chinese-Surabaya." Then we continue our conversation. It was surprising that we have the same family name, "Guo". And we talked a lot about Chinese people in Surabaya.